I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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