If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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