We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
