kristin has been a bad kristin
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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