I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
