3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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