I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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