so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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