I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was confusing and full of hummus
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
