Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
