I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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