Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
