High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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