I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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