Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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