did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
