my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
