I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
