I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
