She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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