Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
