Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
