that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My vagina just recognized that song.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
