just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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