Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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