Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you win again, gameday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
