i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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