OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
