He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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