I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
