I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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