"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
