also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
