Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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