This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
