you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
