Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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