so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
