Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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