At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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