People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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