there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
