Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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