I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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