I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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