We're facebook friends in real life
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
