Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
