Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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