How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
