..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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