Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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